Lag Time


When I realized that we were going to the Red Rock Hotel I knew I was going to get high on the environment, because it's an amped vortex. The energy is amped by orgone accumulators and over that they do the field technology, shifting the probability fields and tearing them in half, recombining them into slightly improbable events. Anything can happen in that place. Well, not anything, of course, but the probability fields shift so that an event will be forming and it is suddenly abducted by stray thoughts.

Crystals horses drink from a stream of solute molecules. The sound of a prospector's hammer causes them to vibrate. I was in the gift shop when the blast blew me against a collection of crystal horses. They had been displayed on a pedestal, which fortunately was made out of a heavy cardboard covered in black felt. It served to cushion me when I was blown backwards into it. The horses flew off and hit the floor, but none of them shattered on the rubberized deck.

The blast came out of the vortex. The vortex energy is subtle enough it might or might not be suggestion itself suggesting itself. When it is amped through the accumulators it provides a feeling of fearlessness combined with lightness. In an amped vortex wit struggles out of the bone bag and looks for a witness. The Red Rock Hotel was built around easy amiability. Nobody expected a violent event.

What was expected was that the event would be understood through reconstruction from evidence, but there was no evidence. Somebody had tried to blast me by surging the amped vortex and shifting the event field at my coordinates. Bergamo could do that and Luther could do it, but with either one of them I can't be caught by surprise. I've got them in my surveillance net and neither can make a move against me, as I can't make a move against them, without hitting a defense perimeter at the first thought of it. So somebody new is in town, and he, or she ... seems to be looking to take me in to be refitted with a Priority Chip. I have a feeling the reason I'm so attracted to Betty is that she's the one who's taking me in. She's the one I don't have defenses against.

I was struck by a dark mood after the blast. It was the first intrusion of feeling to rival my intellect; as you might imagine, being injected with DNA computing power that integrates into the biology expands not just the knowledge base, but creates infinitely subtle combinations of relationships between aspects of knowledge. Feelings are in the moment, neither hidden nor delayed, and in that sense the province of femininity. This is why a man does not suffer the knowledge that his body is grown together with a woman until after he leaves her. While he lives in the upper house he does not feel with her immediacy. That's how they work together as one unit.

But what is standard engineering practice in one evolutionary cycle is a death trap in the next. Because I am a Clone, I have never known ... I can tell I'm approaching some unknown feeling because I want to pick up the guitar and sing a song ... but I will stay here. What is normal and necessary depends on what contributes to the long term survival of the species. When the priority is on mating, it is a normal process for the wholeness of each individual psyche to be divided so that there is attraction to recombine into a third thing. When this is too successful and there is overpopulation, the priority will shift away from this process toward one which accomplishes the intention of reducing population, with the long term intention of each individual becoming fully conscious, with the capacity to evolve into Space.

How this process looks from an external point of view will at first be constructed on a foundation of the mores established to protect the dominance of the older process. This is the primary difference between a conservative and a progressive. The former views the attempts by the new process to take root as a threat to the established course, which it is. There is no mistake, and so long as the destruction of what is held sacred is wrong, the position of the conservative will be totally justified. The progressive is more likely to recognize that the only thing that remains constant is the demand to change, and that as difficult as it is to gamble, perchance to lose, there is no choice except regression. Regression in an individual, or in a species, becomes increasingly painful until the new evolution is allowed to unfold. To put it succinctly, the old king will try to kill the new one, but cannot, in the end, prevail without destroying the culture.

I told you I'm a Clone, so don't expect human emotion from me. But there is Betty. My sexual powers are greatly enhanced, of course, by the integration of DNA computational powers into my biology. I didn't mention the sexual encounter between me and Betty out of respect for the story's one-sided nature. The truth of the matter is that even with the intelligence of a god more powerful than the human mind can conceive, I still have a soul who does as she pleases. When I say that I am not split into two pieces of an integrated system, what I mean is that I'm conscious of the whole system. So when my female soul darts into some woman who just happens to be passing by, and looks back at me suggestively, I can ignore her. I know she won't stay there, that she's just trying to convince me I need more exercise.

Can you tell I don't know how to talk about feeling? Behind the dark mood that struck after the blast there is the familiarity of being here, being connected into human existence on earth. I travel away from life grounded in rocks and ivy planted on their columns, and into the abstract atmosphere where the Ash tree is the World Tree, connecting the waters of the lower world, the world of conscious perception, the upper world of spirit, and finally the Ceugant, where everything is one thing. The ash fork is the water witch, looking for hidden springs in a place where water has to be brought in on railroad cars.

I'm also waiting for Betty to get off work, which makes me understandably nervous because in order to make love to her I have to share a part of myself. That's a security breach, and if she is here to take me in -- to open a vulnerability where corporate can reset the Priority Chip -- I'm already in trouble. This could be the grail castle, where I tasted the wine from the chalice, and then forgot to ask the important question, "Whom does the grail serve?"

Maybe you know the answer, but I don't. Not with all my computing power do I have more than references to other people's opinions as to whom the grail serves. The real knowledge can't come from outside. It has to come from the Grail King, which is what has precipitated the dark mood tonight. It occurs to me that it's already over, and that like the knight of long ago, I forgot to ask at the moment when the answer was close beside me.

Time Jesum Transeuntum Et Non Riverentum.

And now I am in a secret pact with my muse, who even now looks at me with a mona lisa smile as Betty concentrates on making a Mai Tai. She feels my eyes on her and glances up, smiling, then returns her attention to mixology. When we were alone I asked her how she became a bartender, and she said, "It was the easiest way to mix with spirits." I understood what she meant, though even for me it felt a little cryptic. At the moment it didn't bother me but now, well ... now everything is passing through the security filters for reexamination. I am smiling back at her but her eyes have already diverted. She has noticed the lag time.









Posted: Wed - July 25, 2007 at 06:09 PM