Shock and Awe

At first it was just a speck. It was first noticed on one of the deep space scopes, which began a computer profile of it's behavior. It wasn't a comet or an asteroid. The analysis showed it consisted of a three interlocking wave pattern and was not an object per se, but the forward effect of an unknown phenomenon. "Forward effect of an unknown phenomenon," the President repeated through a frozen smile. "Can we hit it with a nuke?"

"We can hit it with a nuke, Mr. President," the security advisor said, "but it isn't an object, so we don't know what we're hitting. Try to imagine, sir, that it stretches back to the beginnings of time, and we're just seeing the forward effect. That's the best explanation I can give you, I'm sorry."

The chief executive looked at his advisor with undisguised contempt. The man could not speak plainly. "What the fuck is it? Some kind of snake coming at us?"

"You could use the snake analogy, I suppose, except that it seems to not have length, per se, but a point of origin."

"Now what the hell does that mean Woodrow? A bullet's point of origin is a gun, is that what you mean? Goddamnit boy, this is serious business. I don't need to know but two things, and the first one is, are we getting a visitation from another planet here, I mean, is this a damned space ship? So answer that first thing. Is it?"

"Yes Mr. President."

"What makes you so sure?"

"They're playing very loud music."

"And they're headed this way?"

"Yes Mr. President."

"All right, Woodrow, the next thing I need to know is, are we gonna fuck'em or fight'em?"

"It depends on whether they're gendered, Mr. President. But there's just one little problem with the construction of your question, which is your assumption that we're in control here. I think your original analogy of the point of origin of the bullet being the gun was closer to the truth of what we're up against. To put it bluntly, sir, I believe we are faced with a technology so much more advanced than anything we have available, they can make us into gods or whip us like dogs.”

"Don't get too colorful, Woodrow."

"Yes sir."

The President looked out the window. The roses were blooming in the garden. A light rain was falling. A large black hole was growing bigger and bigger in the sky. There was a steady bomp, bomp, bomp beginning to shake the earth. Then the hole opened up and swallowed the atmosphere, turning the sky to a pale greenish gray. The air tasted like ashes and people were trying to understand what hit them. They didn't know they were dead so they just continued staying too busy to notice. "It's the elephant in the living room," the President said.

"What is, Mr. President?"

"Our being dead, Woodrow."

Posted: Fri - August 24, 2007 at 03:08 PM